I’ll stand by you… words to live by

A momentary semi-serious interlude ahead…

Last night, I returned home to find a very unhappy Bella.   We had a thunderstorm while I was at work – a fairly loud one.  Bella’s storm phobia appears to have skyrocketed to a whole new level lately – I found paw prints on the dining room table, the dining room chairs… and other evidence of absolute and overwhelming fear.  My poor girl.

Initially, I was worried that she may have hurt herself, but she seemed okay. While I cleaned up the dining room, she had dinner and seemed relaxed.  So although it had been a rough afternoon, things seemed to be returning to normal.

Unfortunately, more storms were on the way.  So, I loaded Bella into her Storm Defender Cape, and we headed upstairs to hang out with some music on in hopes of keeping fear at bay.  (As an aside, the Storm Defender Cape seems to work sometimes, but I ordered the Thundershirt last night in order to see if it will work better.  I need to try something different in light of her escalating fear.  I’ll keep you posted.)

Anyway, as I sat upstairs, sipping my second glass of wine on an empty stomach (it was one of those days, capped off by the dining room incident), iTunes decided to play “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders.  It seemed like a good song to sing to Bella – I blame the wine for this assessment.  (Although I cannot carry a tune in a paper sack, I love to sing.)

As I serenaded my receptive pup with this song, it struck me just how perfectly some of these lyrics described how I was feeling.  I know it’s technically a love song, but stick with me here for a second.  For example, take the following lyrics:

  • “Don’t be ashamed to cry/ Let me see you through/ ‘Cause I’ve seen the dark side too”
  • “Nothing you confess, will make me love you less”
  • “Take me in, into your darkest hour/ And I’ll never desert you, I’ll stand by you”
  • “Won’t let nobody hurt you/ I’ll stand by you”

That’s the kind of unconditional love that our animals deserve.  (Honestly, it’s the kind of unconditional love that some people in our lives deserve too, but that’s a discussion for another day.)

When a dog is fearful or reactive, some people get angry at the dog.  That’s hard for me to take… for all that we treat them like our children, dogs are not just little people in fur suits.  They’re dogs, and it’s our responsibility to try to understand where they are coming from rather than ascribing human reason and emotions to their actions.  It’s natural to be upset when your dog messes something up, but it’s essential to put things into perspective.  How you react to to something like this is within your control – you can choose how to handle it.  Fearful dogs don’t need to be blamed… they need love and a person who will do their best to help them through this difficult time.

Although sometimes she destroys things, messes up the house, or generally makes life difficult, I am fiercely protective of my girl.  I’ll do whatever it takes to help her through the rough times.  I’ve been fortunate in the past to have people do the same for me, and I hope I’ll be that fortunate again should the need arise.

Deep thoughts about dogs inspired by a 1994 power ballad.  That’s just how I roll.

 

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18 thoughts on “I’ll stand by you… words to live by

  1. my poor pekingese is terrified of thunder, being left at home, being away from me…she is the picture of anxious sometimes! I am looking forward to hearing about your view of the thundershirt!
    Great post, by the way…I love my dogs like they are my children (As it should be!).

  2. Our experience with the Thundershirt has been amazing! It's worked well for Lilac during storms and for Bunny during random, spontaneous (glares at a certain neighbor's house) fireworks displays. Both of them are even eager to put it on when I offer it to them!

    I think the lyrics of that song can apply to anybody in your life that you love, and don't have to be about someone you're in love with. They're still profound, many years after they were written. I can't help but thinking songs like The Thong Song may not stand the test of time as well. 😉

  3. That's how I roll too. Bella is such a lucky girl to have you. Does Bella have a crate? I have a darkened, sound blocked "cave" crate that I made for Felix. He crawls into it for comfort when I am not home. I know Bella is a cave dog, I can share how I made it if you want to give it a try 🙂

  4. Funny what triggers different dogs. A thunderstorm (loud noises of any kind) will blow right past my dog, but put him on the other side of a closed door from his people, and he will go berserk. I don't think a Thundershirt will fix that. 🙁

  5. Poor Bella! I'm sorry the storm scared her so much. We've been having good luck using the Thundershirt for Buster's general anxiety. I really hope it helps Bella, too.

  6. I love that song and I believe you are correct- it fits perfectly. Dogs give unconditional devotion and they deserve the same in return. I know my girls deserve nothing less and I love that others feel the same way! Thanks for sharing.
    ~Maggie

  7. this was a gem…I couldn't agree with you more and I love you for your candor….the song is perfect and so are YOU!

  8. Oh poor Bella, that's the time you wish you could have recorded everything that went on in your absence although I'm sure your singing voice would have cured everything by now :))

  9. houndstooth – I agree that The Thong Song probably doesn't have staying power. LOL.

    Kolchak Puggle – That's a great idea. I may have to try that. We have a crate (that she doesn't like to use), but maybe I could cover it and make it more inviting as a cave during storms. I may contact you for more info!

    Life Student – That's tough. Though maybe Thundershirt would be worth a try? It seems to be for more than just noise anxiety.

    MilShelb Mom – Well said!

    Caren – Aw, thank you! You're so nice… 🙂

    24 Paws – Thanks!

  10. I like the way you think! Doggies don't deserve anger in response to their fear.

    The Thundershirt has not worked for Nala during storms, but it seemed to help slightly during fireworks night last month. Mommy needed to hold her though, and she didn't shake as much as she used to. 🙂

    Good luck with the shirt — let us know how it goes!

    Woofs & hugs <3,

    ~Bailey (Yep, I'm a girl!)

  11. Aw, thanks Bessie Mac!

    Bailey – thanks for the good luck wishes. It arrived yesterday so I let her wear it for a while. Today is the first test during an actual storm. Fingers crossed!

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