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DOGma: Channel your inner bitch & take up some space

Sometimes – okay, all the time – I want to write about something, but I can’t quite figure out how it fits into this blog. Often, I’ll jot down the idea, which then languishes on my list of post ideas until I forget what inspired it in the first place. Other times, I’ll stretch things just a bit… forcing a round peg into a square hole (do I have that backwards?) and hoping you’ll indulge me. Today is one of those days. Let’s all say some affirmations together and hope it works out, okay?

What’s today’s topic? Well, it’s about space. A few friends shared this video on Facebook, and I just knew I had to say something about it. Hang in there. There’s a dog connection at the end for the patient among you…DOGma: Channel your inner bitch & take up some space

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Children make terrible pets (and I make terrible puns)

While visiting my in-laws last weekend, I accompanied my sister-in-law on an errand to the teacher supply store. (It was my very own Journey to the Center of Educational Worth.) Have you ever been in one of these places? For my readers who teach, I’m sure it’s old hat. For me, it was like peeking behind the curtain in the Emerald City and seeing the real Wizard of Oz.

I’d never really stopped to consider where all of those bulletin board displays, charts, and classroom signs came from. (Magic? Elves?) Now I know – they come from a store that has every school supply you can imagine, as well as hundreds that you cannot.Children make terrible pets (and I make terrible puns)

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The right way to ask people when they plan to have kids

Okay, students. Professor Judge E. Dog is back today with another useful lesson. You may have friends or family members who seem stubbornly unwilling to shout their reproductive plans from the rooftops. When interrogated asked, they give “cute” answers such as “When we’re ready, we’ll let you know” or “I just want more puppies.”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are countless articles out there advising people how to evade your questions and hide this important information. These devious masterminds have a host of skillful dodges at their disposal. What’s a Nosy Parker to do? It’s just not fair. You’re just embracing your inner Mary Worth. Where are the tips about the right way to ask this question? (Here. Those tips are here.)The right way to ask people when they plan to have kids

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Do you have to choose between having a dog and having kids?

No.

*declares post complete, closes laptop, goes to the kitchen, eats a cookie in celebration of a job well done, eats a second cookie in celebration of how good that first cookie was, reconsiders answer, returns to computer*

Here’s the thing. The answer is really that simple… and yet, it’s not. All at the same time. Allow me to explain.

I don’t believe that “you” (in the broadest sense) have to choose between kids and dogs. I don’t think it’s a zero sum game. At the same time, do “you” (in the narrowest possible sense) have to choose between kids and dogs? I can’t answer that one. However, I have thoughts. Lots of them.Do you have to choose between having a dog and having kids?

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Always look on the bright side of deaf

Bella's ear - I Still Want More Puppies
Ear’s the thing…

A few months ago, I realized that Bella is losing her hearing. It’s not totally gone yet, but she definitely has trouble hearing. When she does hear a sound, she seems to have trouble figuring out where it’s coming from. (Is your dog experiencing hearing loss too? Check out some of these tips.)

Initially, I was kind of sad about this realization. After all, my baby puppy is not as young as she used to be. However, I’ve come to realize that there are a few benefits to this new state of affairs. (Plus, deaf dogs rock!)

Should you find yourself in a similar situation, try to look on the bright side of life.

You might find that there are some silver linings to that seemingly dark cloud. (After all, we should always rely on Spamalot for important life lessons.) Here are a few good things I’ve discovered about having a dog that’s losing her hearing…Always look on the bright side of deaf

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Spam comments I have known, loved, and been confused by

Never underestimate the enjoyment you can get from occasionally reading your spam comments. I know – we’re all pretty busy, and it’s hard enough to find the energy to check to see if a real comment was mistakenly imprisoned in spam jail.

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As some of our friends have demonstrated in the past, however, these comments can provide a needed chuckle. The extra effort is sometimes worth it.

There was once an extended time period during which a spammer (or two) kept leaving me spam comments in the form of Harry Potter quotes. For example:

“I thought there was a Ministry of Magic?” asked Vernon Dursley abruptly.”

I was so charmed that I almost approved all of those comments. Almost.

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In any event, I miss them now. Come back, literary spammers!

I guess I’ll have to make do with this spam instead…Spam comments I have known, loved, and been confused by

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Treat yo’ self like a dog today

Apparently, June 18 is National Splurge Day. When I first read about this day, I just assumed that it was related to that wonderful Treat Yo’ Self episode of Parks & Rec. It turns out that National Splurge Day actually dates back to 1994. (I wonder if it would have gained more traction if it had a cooler name?)

Anyway, dogs can teach you a lot about how to treat yourself right and live life to the fullest. Here are some tips I’ve picked up from my own canine life coaches.

You can take a day off from that diet. Channel your inner pup and eat with gusto.

Mmmmm... food
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Treat yo’ self like a dog today

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