Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Disclaimer: Tavish does not endorse, nor does he appreciate, the “humor” of this post.

Super Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

I can’t even look at you right now, Ma.

I was recently reminded of a particular caroldy that I began in the comments over at Something Wagging a few years ago.  It seems high time that we revisit that little gem and add a few more verses.

Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Puppy balls, are you listening?
At the vet’s, the tools are glistening.
It’ll all be all right, but by later tonight,
You’ll be walking in a neutered wonderland.

Gone away, is your manhood.
Instead you see, you’ll be fixed good.
You might think it’s wrong, but just go along
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

To the dog park you can totally go, man,
And the fertile females will not frown.
Lots of fun you’ll have,
I know you still can.
Don’t let this operation get you down.

Treats aplenty, you’ll require.
As you recover, by the fire.
To face unafraid,
The different junk the vet made.
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

I totally get you’re down about this stuff, and
And now you think our evil has renown.
We didn’t ask your thoughts,
But give it time, man.
You’re still the king, just no jewels set in your crown.

Just wait and see, you’ll be thrilling.
Without your balls, you’ll be chilling.
You’ll frolic and play,
The same old sweet way,
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

So… that happened. Sorry, everyone. Feel free to caption this photo of Tavish as my holiday gift to you.

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Caption this dog: Temporary tripod

Back in April, Tavish nearly gave us a heart attack when he broke a nail one evening. After an emergency trip to our vet (who, thank goodness, was still open), he returned home looking like this:

Temporary Tripod via wantmorepuppies.com

I’m pretty sure that the vet prescribed more treats…

Don’t worry – he’s fine now. I just hadn’t gotten around to blogging about it. Perhaps I’ll share more of this tale in a future post. Maybe a trilogy? (Too soon, Tavish?)

So tell me… how would you caption this photo?

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If I’m ever in charge of math, we’re all in big trouble

On Monday, I told you about the blog’s upcoming birthday, and how I’d almost forgotten about it. Today, I realized that not only did I almost forget the blog’s birthday… I also prematurely pushed it into middle age.

Remember how I said that the blog was turning five?

Um, yeah. This thing started on April 9, 2010. That was only four years ago. I always knew that math wasn’t my strong suit, but apparently basic counting is out of my depth as well.

It’s like that whole 500th post fiasco all over again.

That’s it. I’m not allowed to do math anymore without a chaperone. I can’t be trusted.

Dog math via wantmorepuppies.com

I should have seen this coming when I hired a dog to handle the books. (That’s not even a ledger – it’s a bunch of Mad Libs.)

As a result, I’m also afraid to ever acknowledge a milestone on the blog again. It’s my own special brand of PTSD (Poorly Trumpeting Stuff Disorder).

I really can’t believe it happened again. Um… so how about we return to your regularly scheduled installment of Caption this Dog (see photo above) and pretend this whole thing never happened?

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