36 punny headlines about the runaway llama drama

via giphy.com

Did you see the story about the runaway llamas?

The story was blowing up Twitter, of course.  I imagine that office productivity was way down this afternoon, but office worker morale was probably way up.  Seems like a fair tradeoff. Happy minions are useful minions, after all.

That being said, we all know that there is going to be an attempt by various news outlets and Interwebz pundits to write some clever headlines and comments about this high-steed chase.  (It’s gold, Jerry. Gold.)  Some of those attempts will be more successful than others, no doubt.

In addition, many puns will be taken quickly, and it will become challenging to think of new ones.

Accordingly, I feel that it’s my part as a lover of puns to provide these brave souls with some headline options.  You are welcome to these, llama fans.  (Though how about a shoutout to your girl over here?)

Without further ado:

  1. Llama nightmare dressed like a daydream
  2. The Llamazing Chase
  3. Llama splice
  4. Save the drama for your llama
  5. Llamas on prime
  6. O-llama-care
  7. Llama be, llama be, llama llama llama be
  8. Llama said knock you out
  9. Llama-ha!
  10. Llama llama llama chameleon
  11. Llamatic irony
  12. Llama told me (not to run)
  13. Llama believer
  14. Llamalready gone
  15. Llama do my thang
  16. Llamagotchi
  17. Who gives an F about an Oxford llama?
  18. Llama he’s crazy
  19. Llamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
  20. Llama’s broken heart
  21. Llama sutra
  22. She’s a bad llama jama
  23. Llama mia!
  24. Llamall about that chase
  25. Llama gonna get you sucka
  26. If llama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
  27. Llama just leave this here
  28. Llama going to Disney World
  29. Llama-stay
  30. Futur-llama: Good news, everyone!
  31. Llama keep going to the river to pray
  32. The llamaculate reception
  33. Llamada Inn
  34. Llamall dressed up & nowhere to go
  35. Llamigration reform
  36. Llamaican me crazy

I’m spent… but I do it all for you.

via giphy.com

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105 punny bird names… and counting

Lately, I’ve been thinking that it’s time to expand the roundups of punny pet names beyond the current canine and feline collections.  After all, puns appear to be a perennial favorite around here – punny pet names in particular.

I wasn’t sure which species to focus on next, but Valentine’s Day got me thinking about lovebirds… so, the next punny name collection focuses on our feathered friends.  Continue reading

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Parenting: You’re doing it wrong

My maiden name is pretty common.  So common, in fact, that I’ve often received emails (both personal and professional) for other ladies with the same name.  I try to handle these graciously – telling the sender that they have the wrong person and suggesting they check that email address again.

Of late, I’ve been receiving email for two different people – one college student and one woman with children. (The latter illustrated by the various websites the woman’s child seems to sign up for.)

The most recent installment in this saga is a doozy.  I received an email from who I assume to be the dad of the college student. I learned the following things: (1) he is writing her papers for her (there was an attachment as proof); (2) he informed her that “paper #3 you will have to write because your class has a mandatory attendance to the MLK convocation and paper #3 is on that”; and (3) he will provide her with highlighted journal articles that he has read when she comes home next time.

I mean… what does one do with an email like that?  Even better, the attached paper was a “think paper” for an education class, in which the “author” claims that she will be able to help shape students to become better model citizens. She/he also notes that she will always take a stand for teaching right from wrong. Um…

Parenting: you’re doing it wrong.

Anyway, I told Tavish about this incident.  In response (and thanks to the recommendation of a friend), Tavish decided to channel his inner Ryan Dogsling:

Tavish Dogsling via wantmorepuppies.com

I could be a meme, right?

Who could argue with that?

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Picture this pun: Hamela Anderson

I’m trying something new today.  It appears that punny pet names are this blog’s most popular content.  (There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose. Yours or mine.)

So, I present to you the first in a (possible) series… illustrated punny pet names!  Our first fur-lebrity to get the picture treatment?

Everyone’s favorite lifeguard, the star of Haywatch… Ms. Hamela Anderson!  Please enjoy this autographed photo from the lady hamster herself:

Hamela Anderson via wantmorepuppies.com

Fun fact (or… just a fact): this is my first time drawing a hamster.  I have a feeling that this news will not surprise you.

So, tell me… is this feature a keeper?  (Be honest.)  If so, any suggestions for a possible title?  (In addition to “Picture this Pun,” I briefly considered “Profiles in Punnage” as an alternate.)

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When belly buttons attack…

Pet Blogger Challenge Jan. 10Once again, the time has come to engage in a little bit of omphaloskepsis.  I’m still firmly in the anti-belly button camp, but I’ll try to gaze at my metaphorical navel without getting too grossed out.

Anyway, that’s a long-winded way of saying I’m participating in the annual Pet Blogger Challenge hosted by our friends at GoPetFriendly.com.  Every year, the Pet Blogger Challenge gives us an opportunity to reflect on the past year and look forward – it’s a chance to deliver our own little State of the Blog address. Continue reading

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You can’t go wrong with The Poodle (and Dog) Blog

Pet Blogger's Gift ExchangeIt’s that time again, my friends.  Trees have been knocked over by intrepid feline Magellans and claimed by dogs confused by the sudden appearance of decorative indoor toilets.  Stockings have been knocked off the chimney with care by cantankerous cats and then been mistaken for dog toys. Traditions abound.

One of those traditions? The Pet Blogger’s Gift Exchange (or, as I like to call it, the PBGE) hosted by the brilliant Pamela from Something Wagging This Way Comes.  Instead of gifts wrapped in paper and bows, we exchange compliments, encouragement, and love.

I’ve been paired up with some pretty fantastic bloggers in the past, and this year is no exception.  You may be familiar with Jan from The Poodle (and Dog) Blog.  If not, you’re in for a real treat today – prepare to find a new blog to add to your must-read list!  Jan’s been blogging since 2005, showing us all how it’s done.  She’s smart, funny, and generally just the greatest.

So… today, I’m dedicating a link roundup to The Poodle (and Dog) Blog and all of its awesomeness.  Join me as we explore some of the many reasons to love this blog (and, at the end of this post, find out how you can help me make this gift really special).  I’ve picked some links from 2014 to highlight, but trust me when I tell you that all of the archives are worth checking out. (Chuck Norris agrees.)

via giphy.com

Ready? Continue reading

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Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Disclaimer: Tavish does not endorse, nor does he appreciate, the “humor” of this post.

Super Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

I can’t even look at you right now, Ma.

I was recently reminded of a particular caroldy that I began in the comments over at Something Wagging a few years ago.  It seems high time that we revisit that little gem and add a few more verses.

Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Puppy balls, are you listening?
At the vet’s, the tools are glistening.
It’ll all be all right, but by later tonight,
You’ll be walking in a neutered wonderland.

Gone away, is your manhood.
Instead you see, you’ll be fixed good.
You might think it’s wrong, but just go along
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

To the dog park you can totally go, man,
And the fertile females will not frown.
Lots of fun you’ll have,
I know you still can.
Don’t let this operation get you down.

Treats aplenty, you’ll require.
As you recover, by the fire.
To face unafraid,
The different junk the vet made.
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

I totally get you’re down about this stuff, and
And now you think our evil has renown.
We didn’t ask your thoughts,
But give it time, man.
You’re still the king, just no jewels set in your crown.

Just wait and see, you’ll be thrilling.
Without your balls, you’ll be chilling.
You’ll frolic and play,
The same old sweet way,
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

So… that happened. Sorry, everyone. Feel free to caption this photo of Tavish as my holiday gift to you.

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He sees you when you’re eating…

I hope you’ve been good* this year.  Tavish Claus has been watching.

Tavish Claus via wantmorepuppies.com

Tavish Claus in the house, y’all.

Tavish Claus is Coming to Town

You shouldn’t go out. You better not lie.
You better stay home. I’m telling you why.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He’s going to kiss. He’ll be licking you twice.
He’s gonna ask if his dinner you’ll dice.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you’re eating.
He knows when you’ve got cake.
If you’re smart, you’ll share your food,
Or a giant mess he’ll make.

You shouldn’t hold out. His patience you’ll try.
He will refuse to go out, until he’s eaten your fries.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

*In this context, being “good” means giving your dog lots of food. All the food. So much food. (Tavish Claus thinks with his stomach, obviously… I’m the one who has to think about his waistline. I totally get how Mrs. Claus must feel.)

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