He sees you when you’re eating…

I hope you’ve been good* this year.  Tavish Claus has been watching.

Tavish Claus via wantmorepuppies.com

Tavish Claus in the house, y’all.

Tavish Claus is Coming to Town

You shouldn’t go out. You better not lie.
You better stay home. I’m telling you why.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He’s going to kiss. He’ll be licking you twice.
He’s gonna ask if his dinner you’ll dice.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you’re eating.
He knows when you’ve got cake.
If you’re smart, you’ll share your food,
Or a giant mess he’ll make.

You shouldn’t hold out. His patience you’ll try.
He will refuse to go out, until he’s eaten your fries.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

*In this context, being “good” means giving your dog lots of food. All the food. So much food. (Tavish Claus thinks with his stomach, obviously… I’m the one who has to think about his waistline. I totally get how Mrs. Claus must feel.)

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Doggie style Christmas carols return!

This month, wordless Wednesdays will be extremely wordy… are you ready for the return of caroldies? They’re something of an annual tradition around these parts…

Santa Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

Make sure to leave out some cookies for Tavish… er, Santa

Bark! the Begging Canines Sing

“Bark!” The begging canines sing
“Glory to yummy dinner things.
We’ll take some of that turkey wild,
And crumbs from yonder messy child.”
Joyful the Dalmatians rise,
When more tidbits fall from the skies.
“It doesn’t matter who’s to blame,
We’ll eat that food ‘fore it can stain.”

Morsels, by every dog adored.
Your every move won’t be ignored.
At dinner time they quickly come,
Hoping that you will give them some.
Patiently they wait to see,
If you’ll indulge their begging plea.
Stealing food will also sell,
If your back is turned as well.
Bark the begging canines sing,
“Glory to the dinner bell’s ring!”

Now, it’s your turn. Share your caroldies in the comments or send me your requests for this year’s caroldy selections!

(While you’re at it, you might as well caption that Tavish as well, right?)

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Nic Cage’s Easter advice: Put the bunny idea back in the box

Blog the Change

Okay, users of the Internet… it’s time for some real talk. I know that Easter is right around the corner. Your head is filled with visions of adorable bunnies (or chicks and ducks, depending on what your particular brand of cute catnip is – the post below is applicable to all categories). You’re tempted to bring one home.

I get it. They’re cute. They’re cuddly. They win first prize every single year in the Cutest Way to Eat Lettuce Contest.

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As the proud aunt to several bunny nieces and nephews, I’m not immune to their charms. However, I’m going to give it to you straight. If you’re thinking of bringing home a baby bunny for Easter, stop.

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The first rule of Puppy Kiss Club

Okay, so I have a confession to make. Be kind…

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I like Valentine’s Day. I know that it’s trendy to hate it or something, but I just can’t. So, today’s links are all about the love. Will you join me on the love train?

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Top 10 reasons to ask your dog to be your Valentine

Valentine’s Day is almost here. Considering that it’s a day all about love, a lot of people don’t exactly love the holiday. In fact, some of you may be a bit anxious about it.

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Listen, my friend… there’s no need to fret. I’m going to let you in a on a little secret. Humans are fine and all, but they’re totally overrated.

The best Valentine is the canine kind. Seriously, canines are where it’s at. (To paraphrase my favorite fashionable movie, Valencanines are so hot this year.)

Still not convinced? That’s okay. I’ve got ten reasons that dogs make better Valentines than their human counterparts…  Continue reading

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6 Valentines from your friendly neighborhood canines

Bella wants to be fed, and Tavish does too. If dogs could send Valentines, who knows what they’d do?

I do.

Well, I think I do. I’ve been working on some new canine Valentines (Valencanines?) to share with you this year. They’re not quite ready yet, but I thought I’d give you a little taste by digging last year’s selections out of the archives.

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Canine Christmas carols, part deux

That’s right, I’m referencing a Charlie Sheen movie from 1993. What of it?

Anyway, it’s time for another caroldy installment. After all, caroldies are the reason for the season (or so I’ve heard). First, I’d like to share my new favorite caroldy, composed by Kristine from Rescued Insanity. She gave Wham’s Last Christmas the caroldy treatment, and it is amazing and awesome. Go read it.

(Wham!’s? How the heck do I make a band name ending in an exclamation point possessive? Oh, grammar gods, I need your help.)

via giphy.com

Up next, a few caroldies shared in the comments last weekContinue reading

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Christmas carols, doggie style

You know, I almost used this post title in the past. However, I chickened out. This year, I’m chickening in instead. (Is that the opposite of chickening out?)

In any event, I thought I’d kick things off with the first caroldy of the year. Pretend I’m singing it to you. (If you need to jog your memory, here’s the tune.)

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Be glad I’m not actually singing to you, as it would probably just hurt your ears. I really need a singer and director on my staff to take these to the next level. However, first I need a staff. It’s a real chicken and egg problem (or something). Anyway…

Joy to the World (Dog Edition)

Joy to the world! My owner’s home.
Let her fill up my bowl.
Let’s take a walk, around the block,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots and lots of things I’ll be sniffing.

Joy to the world! A brand new bone.
Let me chew upon it please.
While you watch TV, I’ll chew loudly,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear, hear, a single word.

So, now it’s your turn. What songs deserve the caroldy treatment this year? The Greatest Hits CD so far includes:

Share your requests in the comments, add some more verses to the song above, or hit me with some caroldies of your own!

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