As some of our longtime readers might know, our canine collaborators are in the habit of sharing a holiday tip in our holiday card every year. Accordingly, it’s time to reveal this year’s card… Continue reading
Did you really think I would let a holiday season pass by without sending some new caroldies your way? Perish the thought.
A Game Upon the Midnight Clear
It came upon a midnight clear,
That canine urge to go.
Whining and wiggling for all they’re worth,
To lead you into the cold.
Canine mirth, you’re out and then,
That puppy won’t do a thing.
You head back in to get some sleep,
Before that alarm does ring.
You’re back to sleep and then they come,
Cold noses end dream world.
And then on sleepy feet you float,
From bed you are uncurled.
Out again, they make no gains,
Back in the house you bring,
Your stubborn and insistent hounds,
Who still won’t do a thing.
To sleep again, you’re on the road,
When they say no, no, no.
You leash again, get on the way,
Your painful steps are slow.
You know it is beyond your powers,
To untangle from this string.
You trudge along a helpless toad,
As daylight begins to sing.
Want more caroldies? You’re obviously a glutton for punishment (or, more accurately, PUN-ishment). However, you’re obviously in charge of your own destiny, so… click at your own risk.
How would you caption this Tavish?
Okay, I admit it. I’ve been neglecting my first blog child in favor of the new kid on the block. I’m obviously a terrible blog parent who is easily distracted by shiny new toys.
(Seriously, Blog, you know I love you, right? We’ve shared a lot of special memories and have a bond that the new site will never understand. I hope we can move past this bump in the road and adapt to the changes in our relationship. Oh, yeah… I did just link to the new site in my apology. Don’t be mad, Blog. That didn’t mean anything. Total accident. I just want you two to get along.)
Anyway, if you’re still reading (instead of trying to figure out who to contact about the troubling fact that I’m attempting to engage in conversation with my blog) – hey there. How’ve you been? What’s new?
I don’t really have much to report at the moment, to be honest. I’m still being discriminated against by my furry boss, who continues to believe that he can only turn left because our home is some sort of racetrack. He’s a regular Licky Bobby.
Anyway, my furry boss has informed me that I’m slacking on showcasing his epic amounts of cuteness. So, please consider this a shameless attempt to get back on his good side. This post will be emailed to him along with a
shameless bribe gift certificate to the local canine bakery.
I’m going to attempt to make things a little more lively here on my Original Recipe Blog. We’ll start slow, with a couple of posts per month. (Famous last words, right? Pretty sure I’ve said that before…)
(Alternate post title? What to expect when you’re deflecting.)
Stop me if you’ve heard this one…
I’m not going to ask for a show of hands, but I have a feeling plenty of us have been on the receiving end of this sort of comment. After all, there are people who think any plans for your uterus are fair game for conversation. (It’s called uterUS because we’re all in this together. As a society. Or something.) And obviously any and all choices you make in life are geared toward your eventual role as parent. (Ladies and their universal desire for babies, am I right?)
When you put those two together, the only conclusion is that you adopted a pet to practice your nurturing skills. Sort of a placeholder until you can fulfill your biological destiny – keep a plant and a pet alive, and then you’re obviously ready for parenthood.
I’m often at a loss regarding how to respond to this sort of nonsense. (Or I think of the perfect Jerk Store comeback later, a la George Constanza.) A withering stare is always appropriate. I’d also vote for a blunt and snarky comment about how rude this whole topic is. Or perhaps one of these?
- “You’re right. Having a pet really has prepared me for parenthood. If crate and clicker training worked for Spike, it will work for a baby.”
- “Not only am I getting some practice in, I also have a reliable vet and groomer already lined up for my baby.”
- “Oh, crap. I think I did this backwards. I had a kid for a few years as practice for my pet, but I gave her up when I got the kitten. Wonder what happened to her.”
- “So many good lessons. If my kid cries when I leave the room, I’ll just toss him a Kong filled with peanut butter to distract him.”
- “I figure I should practice it all – so once Fluffy turns 18 and can finally move out, then I’ll be ready for kids.”
- “How dare you! That’s not a dog. It’s a kid wearing a designer faux fur bodysuit.”
Anyone have a good response to this question? Share yours in the comments!
Picture it. A seemingly normal house on a quiet street. It could be any neighborhood. It could be your neighborhood. From the outside, it looks serene… but inside, a terrible injustice is taking place. Today, we shine a light on this hidden horror. Continue reading
Please forgive me for that post title. It was the best of the worst, so just be thankful I spared you the others. Working titles included “the birth of an animation” and “make way for chucklings.” I told you they were bad.
However, the title seemed fitting, in a way. After all, it’s no secret. Over the past year or so, posts here have been infrequent. I can imagine that finding new content here could sometimes feel as unlikely as finding a Golden Ticket in your Special K.
Okay, maybe that’s not the best example. That Golden Ticket was nothing but trouble, unless you relish the idea of turning into a blueberry or almost drowning in a river of chocolate. I’m hoping that new posts here aren’t having that effect on you.
Anyway, I digress. (Big surprise, right?) I wanted to talk a little bit about my absence and let you know that my time away from you has not been in vain. I’ve FINALLY accomplished one of my goals for 2015 (and 2014 and 2013)…
I launched that webcomic I kept talking about! So, I finally followed through on that promise (or made good on that threat, depending on your point of view) and got some of the ideas out of my brain and onto (virtual) paper. It’s out in the world, and it’s just getting started.
It’s called Biological Clockie, and she really wants to be your new BFF (Best Frenemy Forever):
- The webcomic lives here – you’ll find new comics on Mondays and Thursdays.
- You can sign up to get new comics by email using the form in the right sidebar on the BC website.
- If you’re more of a feed reader kind of person, sign up here.
- Biological Clockie has her own Facebook page and Twitter profile too – follow for updates, funny stuff, and more.
So, that’s the big news here. I hope you’ll stop by and check out my new site – I’d love to hear your thoughts! After all, how could you resist finding out more about this face?
Working on the comic has also helped me start finding my blogging mojo too, so I’ll probably be posting more regularly here as well. It’s win-win (for me at least).
I took Tavish to the vet last month. While we were there, he got a nail trim. The vet tech asked me if he runs around a lot of corners, because his nails had worn in a slanted fashion.
I recently took him in for another nail trim, after which I was informed that the nails on one side of his body were also noticeably longer than on the other.
Apparently, my dog spends a lot of time revving himself up and sliding around corners like some sort of Hanna-Barbera cartoon come to life. I still can’t quite figure out why this has made him lopsided, however. We don’t have any one way signs in our house, so he’s free to take corners from any and all directions, after all.
Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t leave this here, given recent events: