Tales of a neighborhood Facebook page

We live in a society. And in a society? There are rules.

I’m woman enough to admit that I don’t know it all. As a dog-having person living in a neighborhood, who can I turn to advice? How will I find out the social norms and expectations of my community so that I don’t end up cast out to survive on my own in the wild with nothing but my sixteen-pound dog for warmth?

Enter the neighborhood Facebook page.

Have you ever made the mistake decision to join your neighborhood’s Facebook page? (I assume that this is a common thing. I can’t imagine my neighborhood is full of social media trailblazers, after all.) Don’t get me wrong – there’s occasionally something useful or entertaining on there.

However, I’ve attempted to decipher the suggested “rules” of my community as they apply to those with pets, and here’s what I’ve gathered so far:

  • Pick up your dog’s poop. (Okay, we’re off to a good start.)
  • Leaving piles of poop on top of snow piles is not cool. (No pun intended.)
  • It would be awesome if people would use a pet-friendly ice melt.
  • Make your dog do his business on the strip between the sidewalk and curb, rather than on anyone’s lawn.
  • Actually, don’t let him do it on just any strip of grass. Find some that are out of the way (preferably on another dimensional plane where no one in the neighborhood might ever walk).
  • Don’t just drop your poop bag in the neighbor’s trashcan. Take it to your own.
  • Except for a few people, who really want us all to know that they’re cool if you drop it in their trashcan, because that’s what trashcans are for. (These are the people who are just happy you’re bothering to clean it up at all.)
  • Obey the leash laws. (Amen to the person that wrote this one.)
  • However, if you remind people to pick up the poop and obey the leash laws, you need to get a life. (Ah, neighborly love.)
  • Everyone will pitch in to help find lost dogs and cats, which is nice. (People will also help you find a lost drone, just FYI.)
  • Somehow, the same dog will end up being lost every other week (which is not as nice, although everyone is too nice to simply reply “Again? WTF” even after said dog ends up being picked up by Animal Control more than once).

    Judgy Dog? via wantmorepuppies.com

    He’s not judging you. I swear.

  • For real, that dog is missing All. The. Time.
  • Those same people also seem to lose their cat a lot. They’re like the Bermuda Triangle of pet owners.
  • Also, apparently everyone (or at least more of the everyones that I would have expected) lets their cats just wander around the ‘hood and then asks us to help find the cats that they somehow lost this way. (Where’s Miss Marple when we need her? Mysteries abound!)
  • There’s a local seven-year-old kid who’d love to walk/sit your cats and dogs. Supervised, of course. (I’m not sure that makes me feel any better.)
  • Deer and raccoons in the neighborhood, yo.
  • Someone saw a fox in the neighborhood. Be very worried.
  • Or don’t be worried.
  • Or actually do be really, really worried.
  • Also, some of that poop discussed extensively elsewhere might really be from the foxes. (So… take that?)
  • Dude, there might be coyotes roaming the neighborhood. (Apparently it’s Wild Kingdom up in this joint.)
  • Don’t attempt to feed, corner, or otherwise approach a bear. (Can’t really argue with that one.)

Amazingly, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I could write you a novel about how people need to slow down and whether we should advocate for speed bumps or more stop signs and how people need to landscape their sidewalks and…

Anyway… have you ever encountered an “interesting” discussion on your neighborhood’s Facebook page?


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18 thoughts on “Tales of a neighborhood Facebook page

  1. Ha ha!

    Before I moved to Ithaca, I subscribed to the paper for a year (pre-social media days; I know, I’m old). I was astounded at all the letters to the editor about petty things including many letters complaining about how the local lake front park was littered with dog poop.

    Apparently they never noticed the “no dogs allowed” signs prominently posted and the scads of Canada geese roaming everywhere. 🙂

    I marveled at the time people took to write about mistaken dog poop until I realized that in my current neighborhood, people were more considered about neglected children, drug abuse, and drive-by shootings. In comparison, a bit goose, er dog, poop was not a big deal.

    The lesson has stayed with me and pokes me in the conscience every time I get on my high horse about some silly issue that’s not threatening anybody’s life.

    BTW, with all that social media conversation is your neighborhood likely to gather for a picnic or party?
    Pamela recently posted..How Pet Friendly Businesses Could Save Lives

    • You make an excellent point… obviously my neighbors (and I) are pretty lucky to have time to worry about the small things.

      You’d think this would foster some social interaction. And yet…

  2. I don’t know most of my neighbors, nor do I want to join their neighborhood facebook page (if they have one.) 🙂 Siriusly, when you see someone walking their dog and they are carrying a poop bag, you would think it would be a nice thing to wave. Just a wave, not a stop and give me your life history, just a wave.

    Besides, you know me. I’d lost my sh*t on the page and tell them all to get a life. 😉
    Jodi recently posted..Rat-a-tat-tat-tat

  3. I’m a member of a few community-based facebook pages, but not a neighbourhood one. Not even sure how people can start one– how do we define neighbourhood, and who gets to set the ruled???

    As for your neighbourhood rules, we don’t have sidewalks where I live. The dog is either going to use a neighbour’s lawn or the middle of the street. Neither choice is particularly appealing. And no one obeys leash laws. Makes me crazy.

  4. Our new neighborhood has one, but I have yet to join (mostly because I don’t want to start disliking anyone until I meet them in person). On the surface it seems like such a great organizational tool for yard sales, picnics, etc. But, as always, human nature tends to come out at its worst on social media. I do think it’s hilarious that there’s a debate about throwing poop in other people’s cans. John and I talk about that frequently, though we haven’t come to a consensus. Did your neighborhood? Also, was the lost drone recovered?

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