I happen to be a Jezebel reader. I may not always agree, but they almost always get me thinking. Today’s post is inspired by one of those thinking moments.
Recently, Jezebel published a post about the Yellow Dog Project. (Have you heard of it? It’s a pretty neat concept - for dogs that need space, owners tie a yellow ribbon around the dog’s leash or collar to signal to others that they should not approach the dog without asking. It’s as if the dog is wearing a caution sign.)
The post was actually rather complimentary about the Yellow Dog Project, but there was something about it that kind of stuck in my craw.
(As an aside, what exactly is a craw? Do I actually have one or is it just a figure of speech? Sounds like I’ve found my next Google project.)
I couldn’t decide which of the two videos below to share with you in honor of Pi Day. (Do you celebrate?)
The first one is short, cute, and kind of about pie (the yummy kind). The second is longer, actually about pi (the non-yummy kind), and features Dog Hamlet (although you have to wait for his appearance).
Rather than choosing one, I’m just giving you both. It’s a little something for everyone, pleasing to every palate. Kind of like pie.
February has passed, and March has slid into its place. The first signs of spring are slowly showing their face. Today is the first day of this glorious time, but do you know why tomorrow has inspired me to rhyme?
If you’re a studious scholar of literary renown, it’s likely this riddle will not cause you to frown. It just so happens that many years ago on that day, a man named Theodor Geisel joined our great mortal play. That’s right – tomorrow’s the birthday of the fab Dr. Seuss, so now you know that my rhyming has a fantastic excuse. I became similarly rhythmic at the same time last year, so I hope that this format will not cause you to jeer.
First up, I present you with a new punny pet name. Last year, Fleaodor Seuss Geisel was my entry of fame. Repeating myself would be cheating a tad, so instead I introduce you to Ms. Feral Ladd.
Do you find the alphabet much, much too tame? Use the Seussabet instead – you’ll not again feel the same.
Dr. Seuss is remembered for the Grinch, green ham, and a cat, but his body of work is far more extensive than that. Before all the Sneetches or an elephant caper, Seuss was in the same business as one Mr. Don Draper.
Speaking of hats, it seems the good doctor had quite a flair, for finding charming haberdashery to cover his hair.
I think that this story is worth sharing, so go take a quick look. I wish that someone named Martha Graham Cracker was here to read me a book.
Here’s the answer to a question you likely did not ponder: it’s Star Wars redone in shades of Seussian wonder.
Although the Lorax is often quite busy speaking for trees, he still inspires fantastical parties with the greatest of ease. (Yet if you may permit me one quibble with that adorable scheme, the use of all that paper might somewhat contradict the book’s theme? I’m probably being a picky old grouch, but if I’d kept my mouth shut, I’d have felt like a slouch. In my mind, I’ll just hope that this use was excusable, and that these cute decorations will prove to be quite reusable.)
This story is old, but some might find it surprising. Who knew that Yertle the Turtle posed the danger of a grade school uprising?
If you’re not anti-Yertle and hosting a Seussian soiree, put these dishes on your menu to simply blow guests away.
We’re not the only blog paying tribute to this brilliant writer. This poem from Cat Chat is another one to help make your day brighter.
Oh, and in case a product rep is here doing some reading, I have some advice that might help if you think of proceeding. Before you request a humble blogger work for free, I suggest you take a moment – or perhaps even three - to read this cautionary missive that will help in gauging, just why your unsolicited email could prove to be mildly enraging.
Now it’s time to abandon the numerical form. I end with a video (as is often the norm):
How will you celebrate this prince of the book? Perhaps channeling his characters with your next fashionable look?
If I can make one final request of you at this time… if you’re going to comment, maybe do it in rhyme? Rhyming comments would fill me with utter delight. Then I’ll know that this post did not lead to mass reader flight.
(I hope that this format did make you feel glee, but regardless, dear reader, the choice was not up to me. For you see, I’m not only a great Seussian fan, I happen to share the day of my birth with the man. Now that my motives have been fully explained, I’m sure you’ll agree that my whimsy was no doubt preordained.)
Dear advertisers, marketers & others in charge of sounds on TV:
During a recent episode of Modern Family, there were no less than four doorbells in a single half hour of television. In my house, that translates to four instances of insane barking and general chaos. (One of these days, we’ll get over that doorbell mania.) I could barely get through the show.
Then, while I was watching the Oscars on Sunday, I saw a Hyundai commercial featuring the beeping of a dying smoke detector. (Apparently, this one has been around for a while, but I guess I have managed to skip over it until now. Thank you, DVR.) Luckily, Bella was upstairs at the time – nothing turns her into a neurotic mess faster than that beep. Tavish woke up, but then I muted it.
A tipster on Facebook mentioned that they read an article saying that marketers were including these sounds on purpose. The goal? To engage homes with dogs. Um, more like enrage. Or torture. At least in my house.
The video below is an extremely accurate depiction of how I feel every single time that Hyundai commercial comes on or there’s a doorbell on TV. (Don’t watch it where any dogs can hear it, okay?)
I used to assume that you just didn’t realize the chaos you were unleashing in my house. Now that I know your actions might just be premeditated, I’m feeling pretty grouchy. Be warned, advertisers. If you intentionally use these dog-annoying sounds in your commercial, I will remember your brands… but not in a good way.
Please. Make it stop.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Member of the Dog-Having Public
Readers, do these sounds cause chaos in your house? Do you also wish that advertisers would just cut it out? Let’s band together!
Bonus points if you know the inspiration for this post title. If you do, we were so meant to be besties. (For double bonus points, do you know which TV show also referenced that movie recently? It’s a good show. Add it to your DVR.)
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Today, I read a story that left my eye twitching with barely controlled rage. Prepare to experience a similar ocular fury… this story manages to hit multiple rage buttons at the same time.
(Before we dive in, I want to let you know that the story has a happy ending. That fact may keep your despair at bay, although it likely won’t dampen your anger.)
So, there’s this guy – let’s call him Moron – who thought he saw his male dog trying to hump another male dog. When confronted with this situation, what would you do? Continue reading →
Welcome back, students. In our last session, I taught you how to be a highly irritating dog walker. I’m glad to see that you refuse to stop there. I can tell that you love to learn. Or that you just love to be annoying. Either way, you’re in luck. It’s time for another free lesson.
Today’s topic? Creating a pet-unfriendly home. I know I’ve read a ton of articles about pet-friendly decor. It seems like the discussion has been a bit one-sided thus far, however. Where is the advice for people who don’t want to create a pet-friendly home? Won’t anyone help those who want to make their homes as unsuited to living with a pet as possible?
Never fear. Today, I am unleashing (pun intended and also a lesson from our first seminar) my inner Vern Yip (no pun needed). There’s no reason you should sacrifice your style for your pets. Make them accommodate you instead. Continue reading →
Do you want to be an irritating dog walker? The kind that others see on the street and are immediately annoyed by? If so, today is your lucky day!
For one day only, I’m offering a free primer on how to be an annoying dog walker. By employing these seven simple tips, you too can be the bane of your neighborhood! (Keep in mind, to really be the most irritating person on the block, you should use all of these tips in combination with each other. One or two just won’t be effective enough.)
Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to today’s instructor: Continue reading →
