Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Disclaimer: Tavish does not endorse, nor does he appreciate, the “humor” of this post.

Super Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

I can’t even look at you right now, Ma.

I was recently reminded of a particular caroldy that I began in the comments over at Something Wagging a few years ago.  It seems high time that we revisit that little gem and add a few more verses.

Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Puppy balls, are you listening?
At the vet’s, the tools are glistening.
It’ll all be all right, but by later tonight,
You’ll be walking in a neutered wonderland.

Gone away, is your manhood.
Instead you see, you’ll be fixed good.
You might think it’s wrong, but just go along
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

To the dog park you can totally go, man,
And the fertile females will not frown.
Lots of fun you’ll have,
I know you still can.
Don’t let this operation get you down.

Treats aplenty, you’ll require.
As you recover, by the fire.
To face unafraid,
The different junk the vet made.
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

I totally get you’re down about this stuff, and
And now you think our evil has renown.
We didn’t ask your thoughts,
But give it time, man.
You’re still the king, just no jewels set in your crown.

Just wait and see, you’ll be thrilling.
Without your balls, you’ll be chilling.
You’ll frolic and play,
The same old sweet way,
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

So… that happened. Sorry, everyone. Feel free to caption this photo of Tavish as my holiday gift to you.


He sees you when you’re eating…

I hope you’ve been good* this year.  Tavish Claus has been watching.

Tavish Claus via wantmorepuppies.com

Tavish Claus in the house, y’all.

Tavish Claus is Coming to Town

You shouldn’t go out. You better not lie.
You better stay home. I’m telling you why.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He’s going to kiss. He’ll be licking you twice.
He’s gonna ask if his dinner you’ll dice.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you’re eating.
He knows when you’ve got cake.
If you’re smart, you’ll share your food,
Or a giant mess he’ll make.

You shouldn’t hold out. His patience you’ll try.
He will refuse to go out, until he’s eaten your fries.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

*In this context, being “good” means giving your dog lots of food. All the food. So much food. (Tavish Claus thinks with his stomach, obviously… I’m the one who has to think about his waistline. I totally get how Mrs. Claus must feel.)


Doggie style Christmas carols return!

This month, wordless Wednesdays will be extremely wordy… are you ready for the return of caroldies? They’re something of an annual tradition around these parts…

Santa Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

Make sure to leave out some cookies for Tavish… er, Santa

Bark! the Begging Canines Sing

“Bark!” The begging canines sing
“Glory to yummy dinner things.
We’ll take some of that turkey wild,
And crumbs from yonder messy child.”
Joyful the Dalmatians rise,
When more tidbits fall from the skies.
“It doesn’t matter who’s to blame,
We’ll eat that food ‘fore it can stain.”

Morsels, by every dog adored.
Your every move won’t be ignored.
At dinner time they quickly come,
Hoping that you will give them some.
Patiently they wait to see,
If you’ll indulge their begging plea.
Stealing food will also sell,
If your back is turned as well.
Bark the begging canines sing,
“Glory to the dinner bell’s ring!”

Now, it’s your turn. Share your caroldies in the comments or send me your requests for this year’s caroldy selections!

(While you’re at it, you might as well caption that Tavish as well, right?)


Who run the world? Squirrels.

You guys… I am seriously slacking off. I almost forgot that today is Squirrel Appreciation Day (aka Kolchak’s least favorite holiday).

Shocking, I know. (via gihpy.com)

Thanks for the reminder, Cute Overload.

In honor of this momentous day, I give you a bevy of squirrel-related puns.

You’re welcome. (via giphy.com)

Settle in with a cup of Squirrel Grey Tea (the drink of choice for refined squirrels everywhere) and enjoy this journey through the annals of squirrel history.

Continue reading


Peeking under the tree at the Pet Blogger’s Gift Exchange

Fuzzy dog noses and whiskers on kittens. Lighthearted musings and blog posts that are written. The Pet Blogger’s Gift Exchange and all that it brings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Seriously, those are some of my favorite things. Especially the Pet Blogger’s Gift Exchange, which is happening right now (and which I’m honored to be co-hosting alongside the founding blog, Something Wagging This Way Comes). The PBGE (if you’ll allow me the acronym) is, to put it bluntly, magical. Instead of worrying about shopping malls and spending money, pet bloggers give each other the gift of encouragement and blog love. What could be better?

Cream colored puppies and bloggers with poodles. Bulldogs and Great Danes and four Goldendoodles. Greyhounds that snooze while a Beagle howl-sings. These are my favorite things.

This year, I’ve been paired up with Laura from The Puppy Tails. (Love the blog name, right?) I’m still working on my gift, but in the meantime I encourage you to stop by her blog and say hi. (And follow her on Twitter. She’s awesome, you guys. And her dogs are insanely cute. Insanely.)

Cats in white sweaters with protesting scratches. Dog hair that stays on my nose and eyelashes. Brown and white furballs and birds on the wing. These are my favorite things.

Have you signed up yet? If not, what are you waiting for? (If you still need convincing, please see this unassailable argument in favor of participating. I may be biased about the persuasiveness of that post, however.) You can sign up until December 20.

When the dog whines, when my spirit won’t lift, When I’m feeling sad, I think of the pet bloggers exchanging a gift, And then I don’t feel so bad.

Need some inspiration? Check out the gifts that are already under the PBGE tree:

Continue reading


Canine Christmas carols, part deux

That’s right, I’m referencing a Charlie Sheen movie from 1993. What of it?

Anyway, it’s time for another caroldy installment. After all, caroldies are the reason for the season (or so I’ve heard). First, I’d like to share my new favorite caroldy, composed by Kristine from Rescued Insanity. She gave Wham’s Last Christmas the caroldy treatment, and it is amazing and awesome. Go read it.

(Wham!’s? How the heck do I make a band name ending in an exclamation point possessive? Oh, grammar gods, I need your help.)

via giphy.com

Up next, a few caroldies shared in the comments last weekContinue reading


Christmas carols, doggie style

You know, I almost used this post title in the past. However, I chickened out. This year, I’m chickening in instead. (Is that the opposite of chickening out?)

In any event, I thought I’d kick things off with the first caroldy of the year. Pretend I’m singing it to you. (If you need to jog your memory, here’s the tune.)

via giphy.com

Be glad I’m not actually singing to you, as it would probably just hurt your ears. I really need a singer and director on my staff to take these to the next level. However, first I need a staff. It’s a real chicken and egg problem (or something). Anyway…

Joy to the World (Dog Edition)

Joy to the world! My owner’s home.
Let her fill up my bowl.
Let’s take a walk, around the block,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots and lots of things I’ll be sniffing.

Joy to the world! A brand new bone.
Let me chew upon it please.
While you watch TV, I’ll chew loudly,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear, hear, a single word.

So, now it’s your turn. What songs deserve the caroldy treatment this year? The Greatest Hits CD so far includes:

Share your requests in the comments, add some more verses to the song above, or hit me with some caroldies of your own!


The Lazy Games: Catching Zs edition

I’ve got movies on the brain. I finally saw Catching Fire on Tuesday (and loved it, bee tee dubs). Anyone else? (Although, I’m totally calling it a love angle from now on instead of a triangle.)

via giphy.com

Anyway… now I want to just hibernate from the cold with an endless stream of my favorite films – I could just stay there, alternately sleeping and watching movies, until March. That’s not too much to ask, right?

Oh, it is? Guess I’ll just dedicate today’s post to some of my favorite movies instead.

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Finsey Lohan and Rachel McCattums. (Bonus: Belated Thanksgiving pun-stravaganza!)
  2. I’ll probably never tire of Hunger Games parodies. Luckily, Cookie Monster is here to help. Enjoy The Hungry Games(I wonder how Sloth Katniss would do.)
  3. I’ll be singing “Spell Block Tango” for days. (Speaking of Mufasa…)
  4. Consider this post my official request that more animals submit videos reenacting that spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp.
  5. Copper… such a hound dog. (Oh, and this link has me melting. Holy cute.)
  6. I’m utterly charmed by this rendition of “Under the Sea.”
  7. On a darker note, I wonder if Morgan Freeman would be willing to narrate The Pawshank Redemption. It’d be epic.

I would totally watch this Mean Elves movie. (Oh, Bo… it’ll totally happen one day.)

Anyway, that’s all for this week. Here’s what we’ve been up to on the blog lately, in case you missed it:

Happy Friday, pals!


I came in like a hedgehog… or maybe like a tiny dog

I already referenced Miley once this week. I hope you’ll forgive me for doing it again.

(I can’t help it – I cannot seem to get “Wrecking Ball” out of my head, no matter how hard I try. That damn song is everywhere. So, if I can’t get it out of my head, I thought I’d put it into yours. Either there is an minimum number of brains that must be infected with the song at any given time, and I can get out by finding a replacement… or at least I’ll have you for company. It’s win-win.)

Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy today’s videos enough to overlook my nefarious earworm plan. I couldn’t choose a favorite, so you get two videos. First up, the hedgehog:

Then, a tiny dog:

While I’m at it, this is kind of genius.

Once more, for good measure…

via giphy.com

That concludes today’s installment of Thing I Wish I Could Get Out of My Head But Can’t. See you next time!


Adopt your very own unicorn…

…or, you know, a dog named Unicorn. But you can call her Corny. (I can relate. I’m pretty corny myself.)

In any event, the following video is rated U for Unicorn.

I didn’t quite get the weird dude at the end, but what can you do? It’s not like I’ve gone out and made my own parody adoption video, after all. He’s still coming out ahead of Sarah McLachlan. Humor always wins over soul-crushing depression.

Speaking of unicorns, I wish that Corny had rocked a unicorn costume somewhere in there. Thank goodness that my other favorite Bella has anticipated my needs. She knew what I needed before I even knew myself.

Also, speaking of being corny… thanks to those of you who totally appreciate my special brand of rambling nonsense. To you I say…

via giphy.com

Hope you had a great Halloween… I’m off to celebrate by watching a few of my favorite specials! (The dogs are not in costume, but they’ll more than make up for that at our Christmas card shoot.) Unicorn wishes and rainbow dreams, my friends…