I bet you didn’t think dogs could write headlines. This post will seriously change your mind.

Last night, I was watching TV (a rerun of The Mindy Project, if you must know – seriously, though… how great is The Mindy Project?).  My local news ran a preview during one of the commercial breaks, as is wont to happen.

In the span of thirty seconds, they delivered one of those “X happened – and you won’t believe what happened next!” headlines. So… basically, it felt like I was watching some sort of Upworthy network. (Maybe they just used this handy headline generator?)

Listen, I know that this sort of sensationalized teaser is nothing new.

(Fun fact: I still say “is it peas?” on what seems to be a weekly basis.)

However, cramming two of those similarly constructed headlines into one short preview was more than I could bear.  It was (almost) as bad as the time that I saw this on the Huffington Post:

Journalism! via wantmorepuppies.com

Yeah… that happened.

You can’t put emoticons in your headlines. You just can’t, HuffPo. Get it together.

Anyway… today’s post is inspired by the Judgy Bear stare and epic amounts of shade I directed at my television last night.  In an attempt to make the best of a dumb situation, I present to you… Dogworthy headlines. Just imagine them being delivered to you by Walter Cronkbite, Dan Cather, or Barbara Pawlters:

  • Fido sniffed a fire hydrant – you won’t believe what happened when he tried to pee on it.
  • I used to hate going to the vet. Then I saw this powerful video by a celebrity dog.
  • Some call it bath time. We call it freedom’s worst enemy.
  • This dog’s family named him Rover. Then they found out just how fitting that name was.
  • You will shudder when you see what this Corgi’s person made him wear.
  • A flea bit Fifi on the leg. It ended up changing her life for the better.
  • Peanut thought that finally catching her tail would solve all of her problems. If only she’d known what would really happen.
  • You never thought a cat could inspire a dog. This video will change your mind.

You’re welcome, canine journalists.  I’m totally helping you take it to the next level. Instant click bait. It’s the human equivalent of “squirrel!”

I’m seriously tempted to start using Dogworthy titles on all of my posts, just to see what happens. I’ll try to resist.  If I cave in, I promise to give myself a Judgy Bear Stare in the mirror every now and then.  You have my word.

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When dogs send email…

Tavish, in his illustrious career, has sent one email. However, he made it count.

The hubs was working from home. He was on the couch with his laptop.  Demanding attention, Tavish marched over to the laptop and walked on the keyboard. He replied to an email with one character – a single, perfect question mark.

via giphy.com

Needless to say, the recipient of the “?” email was a tad confused, and then the hubs had to explain that Tavish sent it, not him. I guess this is the modern equivalent of the dog eating your homework?  (Listen, don’t be mad at me. My dog sent that email.)

Do your dogs walk on the keyboard when you’re trying to type?

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Tonight we’re gonna party like we’re ninety-nine canines…

It’s that time again… here’s your weekly linkage:

  1. First up, your punny pet name:  Cyndi Pawper.
  2. Did you know that you can take your dog stand up paddleboarding? Hey Love Designs tells all. (Tavish the water hater would like you to know that he does not approve this message.)
  3. Dear everyone – please throw this party for me. (It’s totally for adults too, right? I’m so cool. I’ll just keep telling myself that.)
  4. Also, please invite these adorable creatures to said party.
  5. Oh, and these kittens too!  (The costumes are not optional.) Best party ever.

Even though I shared the water thing above, please don’t get the wrong idea. We take care of our aquaphobic friends – at Tavish’s request, water balloons will not be allowed at the party.  (He’s already hired a bouncer and everything.)

Also, contrary to the request of our feline guests, owl burritos will not be on the menu.

That’s all for today, my friends. In case you missed it, here’s what we were up to on the blog this week:

Until next time… stay dry!

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Achoo choo choose you

So, when Tavish gets really excited, he sneezes. We have no idea why. One of these days, I’ll catch it on video. Until then, please enjoy this compendium of sneezing puppies in his honor…

(I know, I know… I’m kind of phoning it in today. Blogging every single day is tough! Mad respect for those of you who do it all the time.)

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Would you forget if you could?

Riddle me this, dear reader… is there anything you would erase from your mind if you were given the option to forget something completely?

That’s right. I’m getting all Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on you today.  (Although, for the sake of this exercise, let’s assume that there are no odd side effects or shady corporate employees to consider.)

So, what would it be? The red pill or the blue one? If you choose to forget, what memory would you erase? It could be anything – a relationship that ended badly, the loss of someone important to you, or an embarrassing moment.

I spent a lot of time thinking about my answer to this question. Continue reading

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The legend of Puppy Stampede

Once upon a time*, a blogger in need of a break took a trip to Las Vegas with her bestie.  These two intrepid friends made the arduous** journey to the desert in order to meet some musical royalty. As they navigated the byzantine maze that was their hotel, the blogger spotted a slot machine with an intriguing title:

Puppy Stampede via wantmorepuppies.com

You can’t make this stuff up.

Puppy. Freaking. Stampede.  Continue reading

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