Cats. They’re the kings of the jungle. The aloof animals who will let you pet them… but only on their terms. Basically, cats are just too cool for everything. They’re kind of the original hipsters.
Growing up, I was fairly certain that cats were the smartest creatures out there. Take Garfield, for example. He might be fat and lazy, but he’s also clever and well-spoken. (Well thought-bubbled?) In contrast to sweet, lovable, dim Odie (and hopeless Jon), Garfield was clearly the brains of the operation.
My first cat, Buttercup, also gave off an air of superiority. She seemed pretty sure that she was… the cat’s pajamas. I wasn’t quite sure where the dogs and I fell on the intelligence continuum, but I knew that it was somewhere below the cat.
So, why did the Internet decide that cats have poor grammar and spelling skills? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise me to learn that cats actually speak in Elizabethan English. I’m not joking. Cats probably judge our grammar. (I’m pretty sure that this cat does. And this one just judges us. For everything. I told you cats were hipsters.)
I’m genuinely curious. Who decided that if adorable animals could talk, they’d sound like they recently suffered some sort of head injury? It’s fascinating that lolcat has become its own weird language. You can even translate regular English into lolcat (and it seems that lolcat has its own set of rules) – hence the grammatically tortured title of this post. (You can also read the Bible in lolcat, if that’s your jam.)
Don’t get me wrong… I’m as charmed by emoticats as the next gal. However, this whole phenomenon is beyond my comprehension. I know that some of you out there may be more comfortable with lolcat speak than I am – if so, care to enlighten me? (I mean, the guy who founded that Cheezburger site is obviously doing pretty well for himself, so perhaps I’m the one who is missing something here.)
Maybe cats are actually behind this whole LOLCat thing… they’re lulling us into a false sense of security. Then they’ll make their move.
You’ve been warned.
Do you speak lolcat? I’d love to hear why it appeals to you. If you’re not a fan, why not? What do you think cats would sound like if they could talk to us?