#BtC4A: Dogs aren’t perfect… but neither are you

Blog the ChangeI’d be lying to you if I said that I knew what I wanted to write about for this edition of Blog the Change for Animals. However, I recently read a story that supplied the thesis* for today’s post. That thesis?

Don’t be an idiot.

(A secondary thesis? Don’t do things that make me roll my eyes. It makes my eyes hurt. I don’t like it when my eyes hurt.)

So, let’s get to it. The story that inspired today’s post sounds too stupid to be true. Our tale begins with the return of a dog named Misty to a high-kill shelter. Want to guess the reason? I bet you can’t.

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Nic Cage’s Easter advice: Put the bunny idea back in the box

Blog the Change

Okay, users of the Internet… it’s time for some real talk. I know that Easter is right around the corner. Your head is filled with visions of adorable bunnies (or chicks and ducks, depending on what your particular brand of cute catnip is – the post below is applicable to all categories). You’re tempted to bring one home.

I get it. They’re cute. They’re cuddly. They win first prize every single year in the Cutest Way to Eat Lettuce Contest.

via giphy.com

As the proud aunt to several bunny nieces and nephews, I’m not immune to their charms. However, I’m going to give it to you straight. If you’re thinking of bringing home a baby bunny for Easter, stop.

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DOGma: How to get rid of your guilty pleasures once and for all

Class, please open your self-yelp books to Chapter 7. Today, we’re going to talk about our dirty little secrets – those things that you hate to admit that you really like.

Get your minds out of the gutters, kids. I’m talking about guilty pleasures. Continue reading

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DOGma: Channel your inner bitch & take up some space

Sometimes – okay, all the time – I want to write about something, but I can’t quite figure out how it fits into this blog. Often, I’ll jot down the idea, which then languishes on my list of post ideas until I forget what inspired it in the first place. Other times, I’ll stretch things just a bit… forcing a round peg into a square hole (do I have that backwards?) and hoping you’ll indulge me. Today is one of those days. Let’s all say some affirmations together and hope it works out, okay?

What’s today’s topic? Well, it’s about space. A few friends shared this video on Facebook, and I just knew I had to say something about it. Hang in there. There’s a dog connection at the end for the patient among you… Continue reading

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Children make terrible pets (and I make terrible puns)

While visiting my in-laws last weekend, I accompanied my sister-in-law on an errand to the teacher supply store. (It was my very own Journey to the Center of Educational Worth.) Have you ever been in one of these places? For my readers who teach, I’m sure it’s old hat. For me, it was like peeking behind the curtain in the Emerald City and seeing the real Wizard of Oz.

I’d never really stopped to consider where all of those bulletin board displays, charts, and classroom signs came from. (Magic? Elves?) Now I know – they come from a store that has every school supply you can imagine, as well as hundreds that you cannot. Continue reading

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The right way to ask people when they plan to have kids

Okay, students. Professor Judge E. Dog is back today with another useful lesson. You may have friends or family members who seem stubbornly unwilling to shout their reproductive plans from the rooftops. When interrogated asked, they give “cute” answers such as “When we’re ready, we’ll let you know” or “I just want more puppies.”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are countless articles out there advising people how to evade your questions and hide this important information. These devious masterminds have a host of skillful dodges at their disposal. What’s a Nosy Parker to do? It’s just not fair. You’re just embracing your inner Mary Worth. Where are the tips about the right way to ask this question? (Here. Those tips are here.) Continue reading

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Kid wisdom: Don’t hit the dog

If I ever have children – and don’t ask if I intend to, because I’m not telling – I hope that my kid is as cool as the one that submitted this homework assignment:

via imgur.com

source | terms

I’d like to give this kid’s parents a high five. Well done, child raisers. I hope that your son got an A+ on this one. (In case you’re wondering, I would have also accepted crossing out the photo of the man hitting the dog and replacing it with a drawing of a tailor measuring a dog for a miniature tuxedo. Either way, score one for the independent thinkers out there.)

Also, the person who wrote these questions in the first place has some serious issues, aside from the whole hitting thing. I wonder if some kid read this assignment and was inspired to put his baby brother in a pot. (That’s on you, mysterious workbook author. I hope you can live with yourself.)

h/t Huffington Post

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#BtC4A: Great Balls of Fire Safety

Blog the ChangeIt’s Blog the Change Day yet again… a day when pet bloggers and pet lovers come together to blog, read, share, and Be the Change for Animals! Today also happens to be National Pet Fire Safety Day, so that’s the topic of today’s post. I love it when a plan comes together.

There are many ways you can make your home safer for your pets. The first thing to do is to take the time to identify potential hazards in your home and take steps to minimize them. You may want to keep your pets separated from potential hazards. For example, if you like to burn candles, remember to keep them where your pets can’t knock them over. You might also want to extinguish candles when you leave the room – after all, you should never leave your pets unattended with an open flame.

Even if you take every precaution, there’s always the chance that something unexpected will happen. If a fire does break out, make sure you have an evacuation plan that includes your pets – how will you make sure you can get them out safely? You’ll also need to take precautions for when you aren’t home – for example, I have a decal in my front window to alert emergency responders that I have two pups inside in case something happens.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg… of tips. Go here for more.

How do you practice fire safety?

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Treat yo’ self like a dog today

Apparently, June 18 is National Splurge Day. When I first read about this day, I just assumed that it was related to that wonderful Treat Yo’ Self episode of Parks & Rec. It turns out that National Splurge Day actually dates back to 1994. (I wonder if it would have gained more traction if it had a cooler name?)

Anyway, dogs can teach you a lot about how to treat yourself right and live life to the fullest. Here are some tips I’ve picked up from my own canine life coaches.

You can take a day off from that diet. Channel your inner pup and eat with gusto.

Mmmmm... food

via giphy.com

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How to tell the sex of a kitten or puppy, as explained by a child

When I was a kid, I didn’t quite understand how you told a boy cat from a girl cat. My cat (Buttercup) was a girl, but I didn’t know why. I had no choice but to rely on the representations of my parents.

Inquisitive child that I was, I wanted to know more. What was the trick? I didn’t ask my parents. I prided myself on being a smart kid, and I loved puzzles. The clues were all there – I just had to solve the mystery. After all, I’d seen both of my parents flip a kitten upside down, take a look, and proudly declare whether it was a boy or a girl. I just knew that I could figure it out if I put my mind to it. 

And I did.

However, my answer to this question turned out to be wrong (and to be honest, slightly ridiculous). Here’s a hint:

Dog label: I Still Want More Puppies

I’ll spare you a photo of where else I thought this mark might be…

Yes, after careful consideration, I determined that it must be something simple. Namely, that all kittens and puppies had something written on the bottom of them that told the answer. I suspected that it might be as simple as an F or M (or even B and G for boy and girl).

I couldn’t confirm my hypothesis, as none of our animals were particularly willing to let me to flip them over and do a thorough examination of their undercarriage to find the location of the mark. (I was pretty sure it wasn’t on the paws, as I’d gotten a good look at those.) Nonetheless, I felt certain that I’d cracked the case.

Confident in my problem-solving abilities, I promptly moved on to the next case, secure in the knowledge that I’d figured out the secret to my parents’ expertise.

(I told this story to some of my relatives this past weekend. My aunt then told me a story about a cat that she adopted and named Miss Maizie. When she went to the vet, he took one look and informed her that she might want to rename the cat Mr. Amazing instead. I guess it runs in the family.)

What crazy things did you believe as a kid? Did you ever have a cat or dog that you mistakenly thought was a boy or a girl?

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