Would you forget if you could?

Riddle me this, dear reader… is there anything you would erase from your mind if you were given the option to forget something completely?

That’s right. I’m getting all Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on you today.  (Although, for the sake of this exercise, let’s assume that there are no odd side effects or shady corporate employees to consider.)

So, what would it be? The red pill or the blue one? If you choose to forget, what memory would you erase? It could be anything – a relationship that ended badly, the loss of someone important to you, or an embarrassing moment.

I spent a lot of time thinking about my answer to this question. Continue reading

Share

Aye, there’s the rub…

I planned to sit down and write today’s post after dinner. (So far, my #NaBloPoMo has been defined by a failure to plan ahead.) However, while eating dinner, I heard the news about Robin Williams. He died today at the age of 63, due to an apparent suicide.  As I sit down to write tonight’s post, I find myself unable to write about my originally planned topic.  Continue reading

Share

20 ways to miss your Rover

… or, in this case, your Bella.

I was thinking recently about all of the things – both little and not-so-little – that have changed around here since we lost Bella in May. Sometimes it seems like I’m surrounded by a thousand tiny reminders on any given day.

Loosely inspired by this song, here are twenty (out of countless) ways I miss my Bella:

  1. Every morning, I wake up to the sight of an empty dog bed. I can’t quite bring myself to move it.
  2. I haven’t moved her food dish either.
  3. My morning routine has changed. I’d gotten used to spending at least thirty minutes cajoling Bella into eating her breakfast.
  4. There’s no one in the blanket cave that Bella liked to hide in.
  5. In fact, I washed the blanket in question and put it in the linen closet.
  6. The nights are different too. It’s quiet without her nightly cave to bed migration.
  7. I miss her snoring. It was loud, yet so comforting.
  8. It’s weird to walk by the front door and not see her watching the world go by.
  9. Tavish has been spending less time staring through those windows as well.
  10. Every time I vacuum, I feel a little sad. With each pass, I’m removing more Bella hair that will never be replenished.
  11. For that reason, I didn’t even try to vacuum for the first month.
  12. When I finally did vacuum, I couldn’t stop thinking about the time(s) Bella left a toy in front of the vacuum as her own form of protest. We (perhaps inappropriately) called it her Tiananmen Square move.
  13. My stairs are curiously clear of furry obstacles.
  14. I miss helping Bella go up and down the stairs.
  15. My kitchen seems empty too. I keep avoiding Bellas that are no longer camped out waiting for food to fall from the sky.
  16. I’m falling out of practice with regard to all of those hand signals.
  17. Tavish seems to spend a lot more time licking the humans in the house.
  18. Sometimes I wonder if that’s because his usual kissing target isn’t available now.
  19. Working in the yard is weird too. She always loved to supervise (aka nap in the flower beds) while we puttered around.
  20. I really, really, really miss my Bella hugs.
Beautiful Bella via wantmorepuppies.com

How I miss that sweet and silly face…

Share

In my dreams, it’s still the same…

Have you ever had one of those dreams that made you furiously happy and deeply sad at the same time?

This past weekend, I had one of those dreams. In it, I was cleaning my house.  (Even in my dreams, I channel Monica Geller – at my house, you can eat cookies over the sink!) I opened the patio door to go into the backyard, and stepped out onto our deck. Suddenly, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see my beautiful Bella, the very picture of unbridled joy, her tongue hanging out as she raced towards me. I leaned down, just in time to catch her as she bounded into my arms.

One happy dog via wantmorepuppies.com

Happy tails to you…

I awoke to the feeling of her wagging tail and of holding her tight. Bella was always a wonderfully enthusiastic welcoming committee, and i always felt so loved when I returned home. I woke up feeling that love all around me.

It was the perfect reunion, and I felt a powerful sense of peace and happiness, accompanied by the sadness of knowing that we can only meet in my dreams. However, if it gets me a few more precious minutes with Bella, I’ll welcome all the dreams that come my way.

Share

Pupdate: I’m still here

Hello, my friends.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written. I haven’t really felt all that much like blogging since I said goodbye to Bella. (Some days, I haven’t felt like doing much of anything.) However, please know that I read every single one of your comments on my last blog post. Your kind words touched my heart and meant a great deal to me during the past few weeks.

Bella kiss via wantmorepuppies.com

A smooch for a pooch.

I do plan to talk more about what we’ve been doing and how we’ve been adjusting here at Casa de I Still Want More Puppies. I want to give Bella a proper farewell on the blog as well, but I haven’t figured out what that means yet. How do I say goodbye? How do I celebrate her?

I was profoundly moved by the way that our friends at Kenzo the Hovawart and Will My Dog Hate Me said farewell to Viva and Frankie, respectively. I want to find an appropriate and meaningful way to say goodbye on this blog as well. I’m hoping that it will also help me as I navigate my way forward.

With that in mind, I’ll probably be playing it a bit by ear for a little while. I have some serious things on my mind (obviously), but I’m going to try to mix those in with regular blog posts, photos of Tavish (because his furry face is good for what ails me), and (if I can manage it) some humor. We’ll see how it goes as I ease back into this whole blogging thing. Stay tuned…

Share

The unbearable absence of Bella

This post is one I can’t believe I have to write. Today, our family said goodbye to Bella. We kissed this sweet face farewell, and life will never be the same.

Goodbye Bella

Goodnight, sweet pup.

We have been managing her kidney disease for over two years now, but – after a very difficult weekend – we had to face the reality that her condition had deteriorated rapidly in the past few days. It was time to let her go.

I don’t quite know what else to say. I find myself suffocated by her absence. Everywhere I look, I see where she is not. I’m not quite me without her.

Share

I like navel gazing, but I hate belly buttons

Pet Blogger Challenge Jan. 10

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I only like navel gazing (or, as our friend Pamela would call it, omphaloskepsis) when it’s metaphorical. Please keep your abdomens covered or – at a minimum – at a reasonable distance from my eyeballs. I can’t quite explain why, but belly buttons really weird me out.

Now that we’ve established some boundaries, dear reader, let’s move on to the real topic. (Full disclosure: I may have actually directed a few lines of “Take a Look at Me Now” at the mirror in order to psych myself up before writing this post, but let’s just keep that between us, okay?) This bout of self-reflection has been prompted by the annual Pet Blogger Challenge hosted by Go Pet Friendly and Will My Dog Hate Me, two of my favorite blogs. Continue reading

Share

In 2013, you wanted more puppies, more puns, and… more cats?

Today, on the last day of the year, I’m taking the totally original approach of reflecting on 2013. I don’t see a lot of this out there, which I find surprising – I mean, you’d think it would be a natural fit. I can only hope that my trailblazing example will inspire more reflection in the future as one year passes the torch to the next.

Sarcasm duly noted? Good. Because I know every website on Earth (and perhaps Mars?) is doing the same thing… and I don’t care. Nostalgia is my absolute favorite kind of -algia, and I finally put down a deposit on a nice little bungalow on Memory Lane. (It just makes good financial sense.) Let the reflecting begin! Continue reading

Share

Flipping off cancer… the canine way

Give Cancer the Paw

I’ll admit… when I first saw that there was a blog hop entitled “Give Cancer the Paw,” I thought we were basically flipping it off. You know, a canine twist on giving something (or someone) the finger.

Yeah, I’m classy like that.

For my more sheltered and innocent readers (do I have any of those?), by that I mean:

Giving the finger, verb: (1) Flipping off someone or something (“flipping the bird“); (2) Expressing displeasure using an agreed upon hand signal involving the middle finger; (3) Evaluating a fellow motorist’s driving ability; (4) practicing hand calisthenics while also sending a message;

or

noun: (1) Beloved gesture of irritated motorists everywhere; (2) Reliable pose for rebellious former child stars trying to be edgy.

I mean, it kind of fits. People are always standing up to cancer or walking for a cure. Why not flip it off too? I can think of plenty of instances where I’d like to tell cancer to shove it where the sun don’t shine. Whenever it takes away someone you love (be it person or pet), it sucks. It sucks bully sticks.

November is National Pet Cancer Awareness Month – it’s a good time to educate yourself about canine cancer and this blog hop is a great way to start. The Give Cancer the Paw Blog Hop is hosted by Peggy’s Pet Place and Pooch Smooches. Visit those blogs for more information about canine cancer, and be sure to check out the other blogs participating in today’s hop. They’re full of information about prevention, diagnosis, treatment, and more – including personal stories and support.

Share

DOGma: Channel your inner bitch & take up some space

Sometimes – okay, all the time – I want to write about something, but I can’t quite figure out how it fits into this blog. Often, I’ll jot down the idea, which then languishes on my list of post ideas until I forget what inspired it in the first place. Other times, I’ll stretch things just a bit… forcing a round peg into a square hole (do I have that backwards?) and hoping you’ll indulge me. Today is one of those days. Let’s all say some affirmations together and hope it works out, okay?

What’s today’s topic? Well, it’s about space. A few friends shared this video on Facebook, and I just knew I had to say something about it. Hang in there. There’s a dog connection at the end for the patient among you… Continue reading

Share