Mario the cat doesn’t care that the princess is in another castle

It’s confession time…

I didn’t post yesterday.  Unfortunately, I’ve spent the month writing each day’s post in the waning hours of the day. (Not exactly a recipe for success in a daily posting challenge, right?)  Yesterday, I was in the midst of last minute prep for an event I was hosting today, and my post drafting fell by the wayside.  I’m a little bummed, but I plan to finish out the month anyway. Close enough, I guess.

Anyway, here’s your weekly linkage…

  1. First up, your punny pet name: Viper Chapman.  (Have you seen Orange is the New Cat? Great show. Also a great show? This.)
  2. Obviously, given my busy week. I was running on caffeine. This photo is a good representation of what I probably looked like yesterday.
  3. Now that I can relax, I think I’ll have a pint and a snuggle from one of these cats. Maybe a burger too?
  4. Curling up with a good book sounds good too. Perhaps my local librarian can help.  (Do you have one about the cat and the baby bunny?)
  5. Well, seems like cats are the thing today. Why fight it?  After all, these cat gifts are, simply put, the cat’s ass.

Finally, I give you today’s video.  I’m pretty sure that this is an accurate representation of what would happen if Mario had been a cat:

There’s a reason geeks love cats, after all.

In case you missed it, here’s what we were up to on the blog this week:

That’s all for meow.  (I couldn’t help myself.)

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I bet you didn’t think dogs could write headlines. This post will seriously change your mind.

Last night, I was watching TV (a rerun of The Mindy Project, if you must know – seriously, though… how great is The Mindy Project?).  My local news ran a preview during one of the commercial breaks, as is wont to happen.

In the span of thirty seconds, they delivered one of those “X happened – and you won’t believe what happened next!” headlines. So… basically, it felt like I was watching some sort of Upworthy network. (Maybe they just used this handy headline generator?)

Listen, I know that this sort of sensationalized teaser is nothing new.

(Fun fact: I still say “is it peas?” on what seems to be a weekly basis.)

However, cramming two of those similarly constructed headlines into one short preview was more than I could bear.  It was (almost) as bad as the time that I saw this on the Huffington Post:

Journalism! via wantmorepuppies.com

Yeah… that happened.

You can’t put emoticons in your headlines. You just can’t, HuffPo. Get it together.

Anyway… today’s post is inspired by the Judgy Bear stare and epic amounts of shade I directed at my television last night.  In an attempt to make the best of a dumb situation, I present to you… Dogworthy headlines. Just imagine them being delivered to you by Walter Cronkbite, Dan Cather, or Barbara Pawlters:

  • Fido sniffed a fire hydrant – you won’t believe what happened when he tried to pee on it.
  • I used to hate going to the vet. Then I saw this powerful video by a celebrity dog.
  • Some call it bath time. We call it freedom’s worst enemy.
  • This dog’s family named him Rover. Then they found out just how fitting that name was.
  • You will shudder when you see what this Corgi’s person made him wear.
  • A flea bit Fifi on the leg. It ended up changing her life for the better.
  • Peanut thought that finally catching her tail would solve all of her problems. If only she’d known what would really happen.
  • You never thought a cat could inspire a dog. This video will change your mind.

You’re welcome, canine journalists.  I’m totally helping you take it to the next level. Instant click bait. It’s the human equivalent of “squirrel!”

I’m seriously tempted to start using Dogworthy titles on all of my posts, just to see what happens. I’ll try to resist.  If I cave in, I promise to give myself a Judgy Bear Stare in the mirror every now and then.  You have my word.

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This is how we moo it

As I try to get back into the blogging groove, I thought I’d try to resurrect the Friday linkage as well. I didn’t have the motivation to come up with a theme today, so you’re getting a hodgepodge. Let’s get to it.

via giphy.com

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Chick Vitale, Hendy Kaling, and Mooey Deschanel. (Okay, the last one is really more of a punny cow name… and the middle one also has a farm association. Bear with me – I’m easing back in here.)
  2. A Pun-Off? I can’t believe I didn’t know about this before.
  3. Seriously, give me all the puns.
  4. If I ever get written up at work, I hope that it’s for this reason and this reason alone. I now have something to aspire too.
  5. Listen, this blog is not just fun – it’s educational. Please allow these twenty adorable animals to teach you the facts about Ebola.
  6. This blog is literary too. We tackle the great authors, after all.

Finally, I give you today’s video:

It was the glasses. I couldn’t resist.

In case you missed it, here’s what we were up to on the blog this week:

Have a great weekend, friends!

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DOGma: How to get rid of your guilty pleasures once and for all

Class, please open your self-yelp books to Chapter 7. Today, we’re going to talk about our dirty little secrets – those things that you hate to admit that you really like.

Get your minds out of the gutters, kids. I’m talking about guilty pleasures. Continue reading

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Forget the polar vortex – let’s talk about the Molar Vortex

In light of the recent weather event – affectionately* known as the polar vortex – I’ve made a decision.** In the summer of 2012, shortly after he joined our home, Tavish went in for a dental appointment. On that fateful day, he said farewell to eight teeth.*** In honor of those brave enamel soldiers**** that gave their lives that day, I hereby proclaim the great teeth pulling of 2012… the Molar Vortex.

It would also be a good name for what happened to this guy:

via giphy.com

Oh, Bumble.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

*Affectionately? More like scornfully. Mournfully. I-wish-I-lived-somewhere-warm-fully. (I know, I know… that last one’s just a near rhyme. Call it poetic license. If you can do better, the floor is yours, Wordsworth.)

**I’ve also been plagued by the following cheer, inspired by one I heard in high school: “Brrrr. It’s cold in here! There must be a vortex in the atmosphere!”

***Life on the streets is rough, yo. (Or maybe life on the dirt roads? Those aren’t really streets.) There are no roving dentists offering free dental care to adorable homeless dogs making their way in the world today. It takes everything they’ve got. Taking a break from all their worries sure would help a lot. (Wouldn’t you like to get away… from me and my meandering thoughts? Probably.)

****Martika, I think we found your next big hit song. (I don’t know why I just decided that Martika is a regular reader, but how funny would it be if she was?)

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What’s on your must-watch holiday list?

I’ve been having trouble getting into the holiday spirit this year. However, a wise doctor (okay, me) prescribed a steady diet of holiday television. My condition has been upgraded, and I’m well on the way to recovery.

What programs are essential to my Daily Recommend Intake of Holiday Television (DRIHT… totally a catchy acronym)? Every year, I must watch at least the following ten things or I’ll get a case of the Grinchies:

  1. A Garfield Christmas Special  – Absolutely essential. I am singing this song right now. Right. Now.
  2. White Christmas  - Possibly my favorite holiday movie ever. It seriously has it all.
  3. A Charlie Brown Christmas  – An equally essential choice. Dance it out.
  4. Mickey’s Christmas Carol  - Probably my favorite of the Carols. I get giddy just watching the opening.
  5. The Muppet Christmas Carol  – Almost tied with Mickey. So many good songs.
  6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas - I am a Max the dog fangirl.  Cartoon version only, please.  As far as I’m concerned, that Jim Carrey thing never happened.
  7. ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – This was always one of my favorites growing up.  Mice! Saving Christmas!
  8. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - I still refer to the Island of Misfit Toys on a regular basis (possibly as often as once a week).
  9. Elf  – Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?
  10. It’s a Wonderful Life  – Oh, George Bailey. You get me every time.

Oh, and I also need to watch these two things:

These two via wantmorepuppies.com

The most essential viewing of all.

So, tell me… what do you absolutely have to watch to get into the holiday mood?

(Oh, and if you happened to notice that there was no linkage yesterday, have no fear. I’m hoping to post a non-Friday installment in the near future to make up for it!)

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The creatures are stirring…

Given that we’re knee-deep in December, I’m embracing the holidays today:

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Patrick Mewart and Andrew Mice Clay.
  2. Holy crap. It’s a blind dog painting Christmas ornaments.
  3. Um, speaking of painting… puppies, you’re doing it wrong.
  4. Best Christmas photo ever? It’s possible.
  5. Also, this might be the best Christmas ad ever.
  6. Move over, Mariah. These guys just threw down the gauntlet with a fantastic cover of a Christmas classic.
  7. I love a good Cativity scene.
  8. However, I’d prefer if we don’t let it snow. Make it so.

Finally, here’s today’s video:

Folks, don’t try this at home. Instead, check out what we were up to on the blog this week (if you missed it the first time around):

That’s all for today. I need to do some decorating this weekend, but I have a feeling that my lazy pups will not be helping. Not a creature will be stirring to help me unless that mouse comes to visit.

Not my house. (via giphy.com)

Are you ready for the holidays, or are you behind like me?

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Canine Christmas carols, part deux

That’s right, I’m referencing a Charlie Sheen movie from 1993. What of it?

Anyway, it’s time for another caroldy installment. After all, caroldies are the reason for the season (or so I’ve heard). First, I’d like to share my new favorite caroldy, composed by Kristine from Rescued Insanity. She gave Wham’s Last Christmas the caroldy treatment, and it is amazing and awesome. Go read it.

(Wham!’s? How the heck do I make a band name ending in an exclamation point possessive? Oh, grammar gods, I need your help.)

via giphy.com

Up next, a few caroldies shared in the comments last weekContinue reading

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