I’m getting mutton for Christmas

These past few weeks, I’ve found myself revisiting some of my favorite Bella memories. Remembering all of her wonderful quirks makes me smile, even if that smile is often (okay, always) through some tears. In any event, I thought I’d share a few of these as I try to get back into the blog.

Today’s tale has it all – mystery, comedy… and even MURDER.

It was a cold night. Presents were stacked under the unlit Christmas tree. In the corner of my mother-in-law’s living room, a ceramic assembly gathered around an empty crib, quietly awaiting the arrival of the porcelain Savior. Faux-human and faux-animal alike, they patiently kept watch, anticipating the moment that the giant hand would place the baby in the miniature manger.  Distracted by the imminent miracle, they failed to notice that one of their own was missing.

He wasn’t the fanciest sheep, nor the prettiest one. In fact, they never knew how he became a part of the flock. He was always there, but he was undeniably different. The leader of the flock accepted him without question, and the others followed like… well, like sheep. (Just calling ‘em like I see ‘em.)

That fateful night, the plastic sheep found himself separated from the ceramic flock. As he faced down the giant she-beast, he knew that he would not see the Nativity storage container ever again. Although she did not usually devour miniature figurines, his plastic scent was too much to resist that night.

Later, in the harsh light of Christmas morning, the crime scene revealed itself. Crumbs of plastic sheep littered the manger. It didn’t take a world-class detective to discover the culprit – after all, the small brown and white dog happily pooping out pieces of plastic sheep didn’t seem too ashamed of her heinous act.

Bella's Mugshot - wantmorepuppies.com

The face of a smooth criminal…

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Living on the hedge(hog)

It’s time for another installment of your Friday linkage…

  1. First up, your punny pet name: Kenny Hedgehoggins.
  2. Speaking of the king of 80s movie soundtracks, the world needs an all-hedgehog production of Footloose, don’t you think?
  3. This hedgehog seems to be inspired by a different movie legend – Ricky Bobby.
  4. I cannot resist a snaggletooth. I simply can’t.
  5. You know what else I can’t resist? An adorable animal odd couple involving a hedgehog and a kitten.
  6. I call this one “leave it to hedgehog.”

Finally, I give you today’s video. This hedgehog is on a highway to the danger zone, but I’m not sure he’ll get there anytime soon.

That video is a total hole in one. (Sorry, I needed to work in some sort of Caddyshack reference, but I ran out of ideas.)

via giphy.com

Finally, in case you missed it, here’s what was happening on the blog this past week:

Happy Friday! Get out there and enjoy your weekend!

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It’s a hard blog life, for us…

Instead of posting, I just sit. Instead of writing, my brain just quits. It’s a hard blog life.

Friends, it’s been too long. I wish I could tell you that I’ve been productive during my unintentional blogging hiatus.

via giphy.com

However, while I did manage to take a real vacation (woohoo!) and attend a surprise anniversary party for my in-laws, I can’t say that I’ve been a paragon of productivity. (Although I do have a few canine capers to share with you in the coming weeks.) Continue reading

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Trend report: What’s the hottest new clothing brand for dogs?

It’s probably an April Fool’s joke, but I’d totally shop at a store called American Beagle Outfitters. I make it a personal goal to patronize pun-loving establishments.

While we’re at it, I demand punny versions of other clothing stores. Coming soon to a mall near you (if I get my way):

  • Labercrombie & Bitch
  • Barneys Mew York
  • Sheddie Bower
  • Groomingdale’s
  • J. Mew
  • Johnston and Purrphy
  • Neiman Barkus

Are you listening, American Eagle? I have a feeling that American Beagle Outfitters would actually turn out to be pretty profitable. Have you realized how many crazy dog people are out there? (Present company included, of course.)

someecards.com - Having a pet is the reason I only spend 97% of the day thinking about myself.

via someecards.com

Get on it, AE… blaze that trail and usher in a new era of punny pet apparel stores.

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5 bad jokes to tell your dog

I warn you – the jokes below might make you giggle, but they’ll probably make your dog (and possibly any other people around you) groan. Potential for groaning increases exponentially in relation to the number of times you tell said joke.

However, they might make you giggle every time. That’s what counts, right? Continue reading

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It’s time to spring fur-ward!

It’s time for another link roundup…

  1. First up, your punny pet name for the week: Lickey Mantle. (Bonus Pisces pun!)
  2. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I just adore when the clocks spring forward. I’ve been doing my own Care Bear Countdown, waiting for those extra hours of evening daylight to appear.

    someecards.com - The hour we lose this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.

    via someecards.com

  3. Seriously, if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d be celebrating like these party animals right now. (If I’m being honest, I’m super jealous of this crew.)
  4. Daylight Saving Time also means that spring is on its way. After this never-ending winter, I’m ready for some warmth… and perhaps a glass of wine or two. Or maybe a picnic?
  5. I’m not picky. I’ll happily accept a beer instead, especially if baseball is involved.
  6. Wineries, ballparks, dance studios… puppies are everywhere these days!

Finally, for today’s video, I present a dramatic reenactment of how happy I will be when winter is officially over:

True story.

Oh, and in case you missed it, here’s what we’ve been up to on the blog lately:

I know they’re usually Friday links, but I’m off my schedule lately. I figure you don’t mind too much.

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It’s maybe perhaps just a little bit chancy, but today is the time for flights of Seussical fancy

You may recall it’s an annual tradition, my writing a post for Seuss-ian recognition. (If you are new to this blog of the furry, or if your memory is just a bit blurry, you can find posts from a past calendar year by vigorously clicking first here and then here.)

A dramatic reenactment of the creation of today’s post, via giphy.com.

  1. We begin with names that are loaded with pun – I just pray that this practice does not make you run. Although I do slightly fear your reprisal, I’ve already done puns based on dear Mr. Geisel. So today’s offerings relate to the Academy knock – without further adieu, meet Sandra SeaGullock.
  2. Speaking of puns in a Seussian vein, this Seusstastic menu board is awesome and mildly insane.
  3. Although the concept might sound kind of loose, this guy’s pretending to be celebrities reading Dr. Seuss. If the imitation game strikes you as a scam, here’s an actual celebrity reading Green Eggs and Ham.
  4. A word of hope – don’t fear the task of seeking publication. Seuss was rejected many a time before his eventual proliferation.
  5. Given that flights of whimsy were often his wont, I bet Seuss would approve of this fun elefont.
  6. If you’re thinking of writing in classic Seussian style, you might use these animal sounds for the extra mile. (Then you can read it to a homeless dog or a cat, and they would totally appreciate your doing of that.)
  7. If celebrating this man’s birthday would fill you with glee, make sure to decorate with Sneetches and a Truffula Tree.
  8. In addition to the birthday of this wordsmithing light, the Oscars are airing on this Sunday night. If this awards show news fills you with great jubilation, you might want to make it a pun-filled celebration.

Finally, I share today’s video installment. I’ve selected some Pugs for your viewing enjoyment. (I did consider sharing a feline film instead, but I flipped a coin that landed right on its head.)

We’re now at the end of this year’s novel-length rhyme. I hope that you had a splendiferous time. Should you want to leave words of a commenting type, I’ll remind you that the time for poetic license is ripe!

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On procrastination, armadillos, and more…

I was going to post this week’s links on Friday, as usual… but I didn’t. Then I was going to post them on Saturday… but I didn’t. So, you’re getting this week’s links on Sunday evening instead.

someecards.com - I even postpone procrastination.

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Derek Moolander and Billy Goat Zane.
  2. Speaking of puns, this joke is simply meowvelous.
  3. If you’re in need of advice, never fear – musicals are here!
  4. This hedgehog shall not be named.
  5. I’m not sure what distracted me on Friday (something shiny?), but Saturday was devoted to hanging out with some fantastic pet bloggers.
  6. Warning: if you’re a perfectionist like me, you might get sucked into this quiz. (I did – thanks my pal from to The Dog Park, who shared this link with me and distracted me today.) How many countries can you name?

Today’s video is one of my favorites of all time.

That armadillo is my everything.

In case you missed it, here’s what we’ve been up to on the blog this week:

Happy Sunday!

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The first rule of Puppy Kiss Club

Okay, so I have a confession to make. Be kind…

via giphy.com

I like Valentine’s Day. I know that it’s trendy to hate it or something, but I just can’t. So, today’s links are all about the love. Will you join me on the love train?

Continue reading

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