So, your dog’s been skunked. What should you do? (Aside from cursing the day you were born, of course.)
First and foremost, do not – I repeat DO NOT – let your dog back into your house. (Friends, I’m essentially writing this post for Past Me, in hopes that a rip in the space-time continuum will allow me to warn her of the events that transpired on November 18 and prevent her from opening that patio door. If she’d only known what Tavish had been up to out there…)
You’ve already let him back in the house, haven’t you? I’m sorry to report that it’s too late for you. There’s only one way out. Continue reading
Step 1: Burn your house down.
That’s pretty much it.
(As you may have guessed, there’s more to this story. Read on…)
Welcome back, students. In our last session, I taught you how to be a highly irritating dog walker. I’m glad to see that you refuse to stop there. I can tell that you love to learn. Or that you just love to be annoying. Either way, you’re in luck. It’s time for another free lesson.
Today’s topic? Creating a pet-unfriendly home. I know I’ve read a ton of articles about pet-friendly decor. It seems like the discussion has been a bit one-sided thus far, however. Where is the advice for people who don’t want to create a pet-friendly home? Won’t anyone help those who want to make their homes as unsuited to living with a pet as possible?
Never fear. Today, I am unleashing (pun intended and also a lesson from our first seminar) my inner Vern Yip (no pun needed). There’s no reason you should sacrifice your style for your pets. Make them accommodate you instead. Continue reading