Tag Archives: in the news

Local woman discriminated against by small dog

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Picture it. A seemingly normal house on a quiet street.  It could be any neighborhood.  It could be your neighborhood.  From the outside, it looks serene… but inside, a terrible injustice is taking place.  Today, we shine a light on this hidden horror. Continue reading →

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36 punny headlines about the runaway llama drama

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via giphy.com

Did you see the story about the runaway llamas?

The story was blowing up Twitter, of course.  I imagine that office productivity was way down this afternoon, but office worker morale was probably way up.  Seems like a fair tradeoff. Happy minions are useful minions, after all.

That being said, we all know that there is going to be an attempt by various news outlets and Interwebz pundits to write some clever headlines and comments about this high-steed chase.  (It’s gold, Jerry. Gold.)  Some of those attempts will be more successful than others, no doubt.

In addition, many puns will be taken quickly, and it will become challenging to think of new ones.

Accordingly, I feel that it’s my part as a lover of puns to provide these brave souls with some headline options.  You are welcome to these, llama fans.  (Though how about a shoutout to your girl over here?)

Without further ado:

  1. Llama nightmare dressed like a daydream
  2. The Llamazing Chase
  3. Llama splice
  4. Save the drama for your llama
  5. Llamas on prime
  6. O-llama-care
  7. Llama be, llama be, llama llama llama be
  8. Llama said knock you out
  9. Llama-ha!
  10. Llama llama llama chameleon
  11. Llamatic irony
  12. Llama told me (not to run)
  13. Llama believer
  14. Llamalready gone
  15. Llama do my thang
  16. Llamagotchi
  17. Who gives an F about an Oxford llama?
  18. Llama he’s crazy
  19. Llamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
  20. Llama’s broken heart
  21. Llama sutra
  22. She’s a bad llama jama
  23. Llama mia!
  24. Llamall about that chase
  25. Llama gonna get you sucka
  26. If llama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
  27. Llama just leave this here
  28. Llama going to Disney World
  29. Llama-stay
  30. Futur-llama: Good news, everyone!
  31. Llama keep going to the river to pray
  32. The llamaculate reception
  33. Llamada Inn
  34. Llamall dressed up & nowhere to go
  35. Llamigration reform
  36. Llamaican me crazy

I’m spent… but I do it all for you.

via giphy.com

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I bet you didn’t think dogs could write headlines. This post will seriously change your mind.

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Last night, I was watching TV (a rerun of The Mindy Project, if you must know – seriously, though… how great is The Mindy Project?).  My local news ran a preview during one of the commercial breaks, as is wont to happen.

In the span of thirty seconds, they delivered one of those “X happened – and you won’t believe what happened next!” headlines. So… basically, it felt like I was watching some sort of Upworthy network. (Maybe they just used this handy headline generator?)

Listen, I know that this sort of sensationalized teaser is nothing new.

(Fun fact: I still say “is it peas?” on what seems to be a weekly basis.)

However, cramming two of those similarly constructed headlines into one short preview was more than I could bear.  It was (almost) as bad as the time that I saw this on the Huffington Post:

Journalism! via wantmorepuppies.com

Yeah… that happened.

You can’t put emoticons in your headlines. You just can’t, HuffPo. Get it together.

Anyway… today’s post is inspired by the Judgy Bear stare and epic amounts of shade I directed at my television last night.  In an attempt to make the best of a dumb situation, I present to you… Dogworthy headlines. Just imagine them being delivered to you by Walter Cronkbite, Dan Cather, or Barbara Pawlters:

  • Fido sniffed a fire hydrant – you won’t believe what happened when he tried to pee on it.
  • I used to hate going to the vet. Then I saw this powerful video by a celebrity dog.
  • Some call it bath time. We call it freedom’s worst enemy.
  • This dog’s family named him Rover. Then they found out just how fitting that name was.
  • You will shudder when you see what this Corgi’s person made him wear.
  • A flea bit Fifi on the leg. It ended up changing her life for the better.
  • Peanut thought that finally catching her tail would solve all of her problems. If only she’d known what would really happen.
  • You never thought a cat could inspire a dog. This video will change your mind.

You’re welcome, canine journalists.  I’m totally helping you take it to the next level. Instant click bait. It’s the human equivalent of “squirrel!”

I’m seriously tempted to start using Dogworthy titles on all of my posts, just to see what happens. I’ll try to resist.  If I cave in, I promise to give myself a Judgy Bear Stare in the mirror every now and then.  You have my word.

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